"I'm sorry.You are at the cemetry as I write this.You're a brave person Jon..I could never see our baby being burried in the lifeless ground.Our child! Our only child! Who was right here in my arms yesterday..and now he's gone..? I still hope this is a nightmare..but I know it's not.I don't wanna wake up tomorrow to find an empty cradle ..And wake up every morning and realise this is how my life's gonna be!
After those 6 anxious years of trying to conceive ..and all those medical treatments.. and the hopelessness ...i'm so tired Jon..all i wanted was a baby !I wanted my baby to have all the love I never got. is that too much to ask for? There is no way I can ever have faith in God again.There is no way i can live to see another day...
I have a confession to make.I lied..when i said my parents moved outta country ..and my brother an I don't talk anymore.I don't have a family..I'm an orphan ,Jon.I lived in foster care for years.And the only reason I never told you the truth is because I finally found a person who I could have a normal life with..So I decided to put it all behind me and have a new start with you...But God hates me you know...or i wouldn't have been in this state.Ever!
I wanna apologise to you for everything..i love you too you know..but I guess I messed it all up coz I was so exhausted trying so hard for the baby..I'm truly sorry.I'm a failure.that's what I am.A failure..and i have no right to exist.
So, i'm going with our baby.I'll tell him how much i love him and i'll stay with him forever.
I'm sorry Jon..."
A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE
A 35 year old female , by the name of Jane Doe , commited suicide yesterday evening, after the tragic death of her 5 month old son.It is believed that the loss of her child lead her to take such a desperate measure.
Although the unfortunate part is what her autopsy report revealed today morning.She was found pregnent with an 8 week old foetus.Mr X, a renowned gynaecologist says " it's almost a miracle that she conceived for the second time though she had been suffering from secondary infertility.She was lactating and that is a natural contraceptive.It's almost a miracle I'd say.Just wish she'd have known."
God knew her though she didn't know Him.He understood her and she didn't.He already blessed her with another child because He knew what she needed.And He cared for her and loved her.If only she'd have known..she would know The Father's heart.
It's so unfortunate , but so true , how much we misunderstand Him.We underestimate His power and authority, and His heart to bless us immeasurably.
Typical human behaviour : impulsive.
Typical love of God: infinite.
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